Should I have one more drink?

Weekend is a time to enjoy and have fun. But after some time, the ground starts to turn, you start to sing and dance like you are the best in the world; sometimes even become a philosopher. That, my friend, is the time when you start to get drunk.

Whenever I think that I am in this crisis and am not sure if I should have another drink or not, I ask these few simple questions to myself, select the answer and check the score at the end.

Q1: How do you cook a chicken? (No offense to veggie lovers, but I love to eat chicken)
A: I don’t know how to cook a chicken, I just order from a restaurant.
Means: Good. I am not drunk. I must order some chicken before I start
B: I don’t know how to cook chicken, but one of these days I will learn how to cook chicken and make a delicacy all by myself and invite all my friends over for a treat.
Means: Stop dreaming. I am starting to get a bit emotional and also a bit drunk. But few more drinks won’t harm
C: Buy a chicken. Get the chicken drunk. Cook the chicken. Eat the Chicken. This way I am eating and getting drunk at the same time, how awesome is that.
Means: Yeah Houdini, Nice idea. Just one more drink and you are done
D: Chicken….. chicken…Nice chicken. Why whyyyyyy this happened to me?? Sometime back the chicken was on my plate and now where did it go… It was such a good chicken.
Means: I ordered a chicken (refer A) and finished that. Now I am missing a CHICKEN (WTF). I am drunk and should sleep now

Q2: Is tomorrow a working day?
A: No
B: Maybe
C: Yes
D: I don’t know… who cares.
Means: Sure sign of drunk ME.

Q3: While drinking with friends, is anyone other than me talking?
A: Yes, we are discussing something, maybe about girls or video games or movies because that is what guys do.
Means: I have just started to drink. It’s OK to have more
B: Yes, we are discussing something, maybe about politics or financial situation of the country and how we can improve it by drinking alcohol.
Means: Me and my friends are starting to get drunk.. I should stop after some time.
C: No, it’s only me. I just finished singing a song
Means: I am drunk, but my friends are still there to take care of me. So I can have one more drink.
D: Everyone is talking at the same time. Few of them even dancing on the tune of the songs they singing themselves.
Means: STOP drinking. I am drunk and so are my friends. Now I cannot rely on friends to take care of me.

Q4: Am I paying for the drinks?
A: It’s a party (office party, bachelor party, New Year party…)
Means: Have some more … you are supposed to get drunk on these occasions.
B: No, some other person whom I hate is paying.
Means: Drink a lot and make sure that the other person pays a lot.
C: No, my good friends are paying.
Means: Get only one more drink because usually friends ask for money. After all, that’s what friends are for.
D: Yes.
Means: Don't spend too much.

Q5: Is the earth beneath me moving and am I seeing more than one copy of the same person (clones)
A: NO.
Means:WOW, I am not drunk.
B: Yes, the earth below me is moving, but I can’t see any clones.
Means: I have started to get drunk, maybe one more drink might not harm.
C: The earth never stops moving. So technically I am moving. But I am standing also at the same time, so I am moving as well as standing…..hey look all my friends came with their clones.. how cool is that.
Means: Stop drinking stupid...I have become a philosopher and have started seeing clones. Need to STOP before I throw up.
D: None of the above, but somehow I don’t remember what was the last drink I had. Somehow, I still have the taste of my first drink in my mouth…
Means: Congrats I have just puked…


Score:
If the answers are,
Mostly A: The party is still ON
Mostly B: Few more drinks. The party has just started.
Mostly C: OK. One small nice drink and I am done with it
Mostly D: I am totally drunk, Must GO TO SLEEP.

So there it is, simple but effective 🙂